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you don't know it,
but every word stabs my heart.

you say they're a great friend, tell me you've been talking every day.

so where was i?

what am i?

disposable?

do you not notice how i've poured my heart into you for years now?

you're there for them every day; where were you for me?

where were you when i screamed at the sky and punched the ground until my knuckles bled?
where were you when i cried myself to sleep and stressed so much i made myself sick?
where were you when i needed you?

both of you. 

high school is supposed to be the time when you make friendships that make you
and the two who mean most to me have decided to drop off the map.

where are you?
what did i do?

i love until i have nothing left,
and when you leave i realize i am empty.

come back…

--12.13.18