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sometimes, i ask God why i don't have cancer.
i ask why i get so upset over the small things. 
"others are dying," i protest. "my friends are suffering. why am i so worked up about all these little things?"
i know now, it's because i don't care about the large things.
i wouldn't mind dying. 
i wouldn't mind big problems.
"big" problems don't bother me.

 i've written so much about small things, and when the big things have happened, i don't tell anyone. 
it doesn't bother me as much.
i don't stay up and cry over the "big" things. 

 strange. 

 i guess everyone is different.

 --6.8.18

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