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lying on my floor
listening to sad music
really doesn’t help my mood
makes me cry harder
but i still do it
stupid me
stupid moods
stupid emotions
real life hurts
because he’s not always with me
and it’s easy to forget that we’re in different phases of life when he’s with me
i forget that we live apart and have different schedules and different everything and now i’m rambling because it’s late at night and i’ve wasted over an hour waiting for someone, amyone, to talk to me, to remind me that i’m not alone and i’m not as lonely as i feel right now but oh how it hurts
the future is so scary.
i know what i want but i’m scared it won’t happen and
i don’t know what i’ll do.
people are slowly drifting from me, and i am replacing them while i hold onto one sided friendships and i don’t like it
frick man, this isn’t fun.
i’m freezing cold and i’m not doing anything about it.
i’m wide awake even though it’s late.
i’m hungry but i don’t want to eat.
i’m lonely.
i’m scared.
i need people but no one needs me.
i forget that not everyone is me, even though i expect them to be.
no one will care for me like i do, no one will value me like i value them. no one will show love like i do.
i need to go to sleep, to end today, to back out of a rough time like the coward i am. but i don’t want to move.
don’t think about tomorrow, don’t think about anything, don’t think about the ways you hurt and the way you will be hurt and then ways you were hurt and the old wounds that resurface when you least expect them, don’t think about that don’t think don’t think don’t think
don’t think
anniversary tomorrow. if you can call it that. is it an anniversary? that sounds too official.
don’t think
crises can wait until....
i don’t know.
my shoulders hurt and i think it’s still from the shots i got last week.
i want my friends back.
give me my friends back.
fricking give me my friends back.
i want them back now. you’ve had your time with them now give them back. give them back give them
i think i got tears on my glasses and i’ll have saltwater stains on them later
—12.27.18
listening to sad music
really doesn’t help my mood
makes me cry harder
but i still do it
stupid me
stupid moods
stupid emotions
real life hurts
because he’s not always with me
and it’s easy to forget that we’re in different phases of life when he’s with me
i forget that we live apart and have different schedules and different everything and now i’m rambling because it’s late at night and i’ve wasted over an hour waiting for someone, amyone, to talk to me, to remind me that i’m not alone and i’m not as lonely as i feel right now but oh how it hurts
the future is so scary.
i know what i want but i’m scared it won’t happen and
i don’t know what i’ll do.
people are slowly drifting from me, and i am replacing them while i hold onto one sided friendships and i don’t like it
frick man, this isn’t fun.
i’m freezing cold and i’m not doing anything about it.
i’m wide awake even though it’s late.
i’m hungry but i don’t want to eat.
i’m lonely.
i’m scared.
i need people but no one needs me.
i forget that not everyone is me, even though i expect them to be.
no one will care for me like i do, no one will value me like i value them. no one will show love like i do.
i need to go to sleep, to end today, to back out of a rough time like the coward i am. but i don’t want to move.
don’t think about tomorrow, don’t think about anything, don’t think about the ways you hurt and the way you will be hurt and then ways you were hurt and the old wounds that resurface when you least expect them, don’t think about that don’t think don’t think don’t think
don’t think
anniversary tomorrow. if you can call it that. is it an anniversary? that sounds too official.
don’t think
crises can wait until....
i don’t know.
my shoulders hurt and i think it’s still from the shots i got last week.
i want my friends back.
give me my friends back.
fricking give me my friends back.
i want them back now. you’ve had your time with them now give them back. give them back give them
i think i got tears on my glasses and i’ll have saltwater stains on them later
—12.27.18
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