384

thought it was him
turned around
his hair
his eyes
his build
his scent
not quite
but close enough
to make me remember

 thinking about college
what kind of guy do i like?

 wanted:
male
compact body type
strawberry blonde, though red works too
able to understand me
stem minded
a reader
likes my music, so i can finally go to concerts with someone who cares 
able to get along with me
able to understand me in all my confusion
steady, confident
extrovert
Jesus oriented
hype at concerts
maybe, maybe, thinks i'm beautiful and tells me so
loves me, truly

 formulated this list at 5 am
realized i was just recreating him
tried not to be depressed about it
failed

 without hope

 --8.29.18

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