374

a year ago i was needed.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

381

bitter. angry. how can i not be? thought that cutting myself off would solve things but it's just made them worse. i look at the couples in my life--my friends, their boyfriends--and it makes me angry because they have no idea how lucky they are, just to be unafraid to love. "you can't love, you're too young." of course! that solves everything! -- YOU KNOW NOTHING. YOU HAVE NO IDEA. HOW I FEEL. HOW THE FACT THAT THE SENTENCE BEFORE THIS ONE SHOULD HAVE BEEN JOINED TO THE PREVIOUS ONE WITH A COMMA BUT IT WASN'T AND IT REMINDS ME OF HIM. HOW I LIE AWAKE AT NIGHT CRYING BECAUSE HE WILL BE TWENTY AND I MISS HIM. HOW MY HANDS SHAKE AND I SWEAT AT THE THOUGHT OF HIM BEING THERE NEXT SATURDAY AND I WON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO OR SAY AND I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN MEET HIS EYES. HOW I LOOK FOR HIS CAR EVERYWHERE. HOW I SEE HIS FACE IN CROWDS. HOW COULD YOU? HOW COULD I? I HATE MYSELF. HATE MYSELF SO MUCH. LEAVE ME ALONE.  SAD. AND LONELY. WELL HONEY, ME TOO. S...
Read more

305

my words do not seem to work for me any longer.              i try, but         they are dry and   useless.     meaningless.    how do i say what i feel? how can i express what i do not know? my thoughts drift.  i write     and rewrite.  things come to mind that i                                        wish i could say. how do you put into words the wanderlust that seizes you when you hear that song, when     you think of her? how do you explain memories that      you’ve never made? daydreams become so deeply ingrained into my subconscious that         it’s           like               they’re                ...
Read more

367

SO WHAT AM I WHO IS IT BETTER TO BE A TEENAGER WITH A NEW CRUSH EVERY MONTH OR HUNG UP OVER THE SAME MAN FOR OVER A YEAR I  LOVE HIM DO I I DO AM I HUNG UP OR AM I OBSESSED SHOULD SOMEONE MY AGE BE THIS MUCH IN LOVE WITH A SINGLE PERSON IS IT POSSIBLE TO FEEL LOVE WHEN YOU ARE YOUNG AND DUMB AND SEVENTEEN AND TOO YOUNG TO DATE IS IT POSSIBLE TO BE IN LOVE CAN I LOVE WHEN I SHOVE DOWN MY FEELINGS AND MEMORIES OF HIM BUT THERE IS STILL THAT VAGUE FEELING OF MISSING SOMETHING OF MISSING HIM OF A PART OF ME MISSING IT HAS BEEN OVER A MONTH SINCE OUR LAST NORMAL CONVERSATION AND STILL HE IS MY FIRST THOUGHT WHEN I WAKE AND WHEN I SLEEP AM I IN LOVE OR IS THIS WHAT BEING SEVENTEEN MEANS --7.7.18
Read more