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dear universe,

     are you done yet?

is this enough for you?

you must not have liked breaking your rules.

you've been fighting to keep us apart ever since we met. 

are you happy now?

dear universe,

     will things ever be the same?

the answer is no, of course.

i thought i'd ask all the same.

dear universe,

     did you sit back and smile after the last angry "goodbye" was said?

you should be proud of your work.

you did a marvelous job, breaking me.

congratulations. 

dear universe,

     can you leave me alone for a while?

i'm a bit worn out from the events of the past year or two. 

just, let me recover. 

please.

dear universe,

     do you take requests?

if so, i'd like to go into a coma for, say, three months.

it would be nice to wake up and feel better. 

dear universe,

     if there's one thing this has taught me, it's that i don't lie enough.

next time--hypothetically, of course; i'm not going to let there be a next time--next time i will lie more.

dear universe,

     i'm done. 

the next time anyone shows interest in me, i'll make my parents proud.

i will do better next time. 

i will lie, and make them proud.

--6.10.18