404.2

error.

touch.

the interaction between the nerve endings of two human beings, and yet

it is so much more.

touch.

when i was young i was repelled by touch, and 

the child who once refused touch must have remained the same as a woman, right?

wrong.

touch.

touch me. 

let me feel the softness of your skin

the heat from your face 

the smoothness of the shirt on your back

the caress of your fingertips. 

touch. 

so much emotion contained in this vessel i call my body.

turmoil, tossing and turning on my bed like the waves of the ocean i love so much.

it takes me over,

consumes me,

fighting me, 

raging inside me,

taking me captive--

touch.

convince me i am not simply a soul trapped in a body trapped in this endless struggle of time we call the universe.

let me know there are things that are real and physical.

let me know you are real and physical.

and so when you feel my short nails absentmindedly scratching your back as you lean down in the seat next to me
or if you notice my arm has found its way behind you
or if i pull your hair because my fingers have become twisted in its tangles by mistake,
remind yourself that it is because i am trying to feel like i am living.

—10.16.18