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my longings feel stupid.

i try to be poetic but it's like

the words are forced out of me.

even when i try,

i look back and want to erase it all. 

it's terrible.

in the moment the emotion is high.

but later what i've written seems dry and meaningless.

and then there are the times like now.

when i'm longing for things and times and people

and i feel numb. like i can't express

anything at all.

i can't think of a beautiful way to say that 

i want to go to a concert. 

i can't think of words that can do justice to the feeling

that a smile brings. 

i can't even begin to describe the memories 

that my pictures drag to the surface of my head

i 

remember

everything.

breathe in, 

breathe out.

you're gonna be fine.

this is normal.

you do this all the time.

breathe in,

breathe out.

suck it up and deal with it.

breathe in, 

breathe out.

--1.14.18