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i guess i just didn't realize how much it really hurt
till i started speaking it out loud
then i found out that it feels distant
and i know it's probably my fault
it's not like i help things
but it just hurt all of a sudden
made me realize that i don't feel important to people
who would want me there for them?
will i ever be there for someone?
do i matter to people?
or am i really and truly cursed to love more than i am loved?
maybe i'm selfish. 
maybe i'm assuming. 
but it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.
--3.28.21

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