484

feeling kind of like i'm floating.
temporary.
not all the way here.
like i'm in space, or flying, or falling. 
just here for a little while.
like i'm afraid to get back into things again. 
like i'm afraid to get used to things, because they're going to change--
not just in the next few months, but the next few days.
like i'm scared. just scared. of everything.
like i want someone to hold me to sleep just so i can feel safe, comforted, in a controlled place.
not depressed in the way that i may burst into tears at any moment, but more like
i am on the brink of a cliff
waiting to do something expensive
unexpected
impulsive
fly or fall
--8.18.20

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