460

good morning.

do i fit in?

i'm not sure i really do. two years ahead of everyone my age, struggling mentally, physically, spiritually. i feel temporary. like this is such a short stint, what's the use of trying to make friends if i'm just gonna leave and move back home after this year? i can't open up to people. my troubles seem so small and yet so big. and i don't want to open up. don't want to make myself vulnerable, especially since everything is transient. it's like i'm going through the motions. like nothing really matters. and i sit on my floor with three other girls who are tight-knit because they have time to invest in relationships and i just can't seem to. it feels like my friendships back home are deteriorating, and my friendships here are non-existent.
but i have no desire to change things.
i don't want to open myself up.
i hate being hurt. i keep getting hurt.

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