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hello, world.
recently i made a massive transition, changing my life from something it had been into something new. i moved away from some people. met some new people. gonna learn some new stuff.
and i think i'm sad.
i'm really not sure, honestly. it's hard to tell. but i think i've blocked out all my emotions and once i settle into a good routine then i'm gonna have to feel things again. it's difficult for me to feel things with my God now. because i've blocked everything out. feels more like a distant relationship than one that travels with me. i think i'm lonely because i don't have the people i want here. and i know that's shallow but wow. i think i've avoided thinking about this transition as if it would fade away into nonexistence as my thoughts danced around it. and that's not true, and now it's here. and i'm blocking everything out. even though i know i'm gonna have to deal with it at some point. eventually i'm going to realize that i'm away, gone. no longer a short drive away, can't just drop by on my way home. wow. that stuff hurts, you know? like especially. really.
this was something of a stream of consciousness writing. i think i should go work out or something, burn off steam. but i'm afraid it'll remind me of something. something that'll make me cry. i hate crying.
recently i made a massive transition, changing my life from something it had been into something new. i moved away from some people. met some new people. gonna learn some new stuff.
and i think i'm sad.
i'm really not sure, honestly. it's hard to tell. but i think i've blocked out all my emotions and once i settle into a good routine then i'm gonna have to feel things again. it's difficult for me to feel things with my God now. because i've blocked everything out. feels more like a distant relationship than one that travels with me. i think i'm lonely because i don't have the people i want here. and i know that's shallow but wow. i think i've avoided thinking about this transition as if it would fade away into nonexistence as my thoughts danced around it. and that's not true, and now it's here. and i'm blocking everything out. even though i know i'm gonna have to deal with it at some point. eventually i'm going to realize that i'm away, gone. no longer a short drive away, can't just drop by on my way home. wow. that stuff hurts, you know? like especially. really.
this was something of a stream of consciousness writing. i think i should go work out or something, burn off steam. but i'm afraid it'll remind me of something. something that'll make me cry. i hate crying.
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