443

i have no one to talk to
no one to turn to

so i empty my soul upon a page
pour out my heart to a screen that can't read
try to explain what i'm feeling in a letter
that never seems to reach heaven

i need advice, need someone to
show me what to do, how to do it
there's no directions for my situation and
for some reason i can't accept everything as it comes

how far do i trust my Savior?
i don't know.
i know i should trust Him farther but it feels so wrong
to let go of my tight
white knuckle grip
on what little of my life i have left

there are so many uncertainties and i can't
see what is the right path

if i can, i don't want to.

--4.10.19

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