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i remember 
this day, last year.
december 31.
i look back at my screenshots
even though i've come to expect 
the memories to bring gentle tears.
"ngl, i wish you were here."
you were sad.
and now, a year later,
you're sad again.

i have a nagging feeling

i'm the cause.

your deep places seem to have come

so much more often

since july.

i never want to cause you any pain.

the next year

holds so much possibility--

for growth, for pain, for laughter.

i don't know what it'll hold for us, for you.

but i hope it will bring you 

joy and peace and comfort and happiness.

so, 

here's to the new year.

--12.31.17