excerpts from stories i will never write

here is where i rip open my soul / here is where i cry / here is where i spill my heart / and here is where i die

i beat myself over the head for

even daring to feel emotion.

i wish i didn't do that.

i wish--

i wish.

i'm always so cold, so very cold…

--11.10.17

I

write

only

because

there is

a voice

within

me that

will not

be still

~~sylvia plath

sometimes i'm afraid of words,

how they hang upon a beat--

knocking in my head at night:

they repeat, repeat, repeat.

sometimes they don't come at all,

their pounding finished, complete

a new word for the silence:

defeat, defeat, defeat.

~~ladymagdalene