225

torn between obligation and love.
i should not feel guilty for my feelings.
that is simply not right.

it just isn't right.

--8.29.17

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

490

it feels like every week i can't focus too tired too stressed  a thousand things running through my head the week ahead the week behind like every week i look back i look around i look up and wonder what they have that i don't  what i'm missing what i'm doing wrong to feel so alone and lost and afloat i tell myself -- every week -- "this is just a bad week. it is okay to just have a bad week." but every week is a bad week every week there's something wrong and i pray every single day for trust and for contentment and for letting go of control so where is the fulfillment? where is the answer? why am i still here  every week heart beating faster and faster my breath going in and out and in and out in quick quick quick quick time beat if every week is a bad week where are the good weeks? where are the good weeks? --2.14.21
Read more

158

she upholds me. she encourages me. when i fall, she picks me up. she's perfect. her hair is as black as midnight, her eyes are the color of a tree in autumn--not quite green, not quite brown--and her smile reaches up to the corners of her eyes and fills me with joy.  she's taller than i am and when i hug her it's like i'm hugging the human embodiment of, well, a hug. she's beautiful just the way she is, with all the pain she holds inside and all the hurt she feels.  she's so very talented and she makes me cry with the way she writes about the ones she loves.  she bottles up the feelings inside, but when she lets them flow they create some of the most beautiful masterpieces i've ever read. when i'm crying, when i'm emotionally compromised, when it's been a terrible day or week, she'll listen to me.  i look to her when i hurt, and she tells me to look heavenward.  she's wonderful, amazing, beautiful. i remember one of the wors...
Read more

360

sometimes, i ask God why i don't have cancer. i ask why i get so upset over the small things.  "others are dying," i protest. "my friends are suffering. why am i so worked up about all these little things?" i know now, it's because i don't care about the large things. i wouldn't mind dying.  i wouldn't mind big problems. "big" problems don't bother me. i've written so much about small things, and when the big things have happened, i don't tell anyone.  it doesn't bother me as much. i don't stay up and cry over the "big" things.  strange.  i guess everyone is different. --6.8.18
Read more