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yesterday. let's try to figure out what i was feeling. first: "i don't really want to be here." - tired of staying inside all day - sitting down watching tv. that does not build or grow a relationship. - feeling stagnant. wanting to take a walk in the rain. by myself, because i knew he wouldn't want to come. - a little worried whenever i show that wild spontaneous side of me. like the part that would get soaking wet and dance in the rain is too much and needs to be hidden. like he's too mature for that part of me. - nothing open anyways. he doesn't like to be outside as much as i do, i think. second: "please don't touch me." - not sure why. perhaps see the first reaction--"i don't really want to be here." it would have been more interesting to me if i had wanted to be there. - just wanting to be alone. not having to be fake because thoughts run through my head at 90 miles an hour and in the moment i can't explain. i have...