excerpts from stories i will never write

"i think one of my favorite things about creation     is the stars. look up at them.  a million, billion miles away, and yet   we can still see them shine. silver on black, they stand out like paint on a canvas. and think,    the One who made those stars, those beautiful balls of fire that give me such joy,         He made me too. and He loves me. when He formed each flaming silver speckle,    He thought of me;  with those same hands He shaped every part of me,         even the ones i don't like. He made me, and He loves me." --1.9.17

it hurts me so much  to see you struggle, to see you suffer    and to know that i can't do a thing to help you. i feel pain when you tell me  there's nothing i can do. my chest tightens  and it's hard to breathe.       i cry for you. i want to be with you, i want to hug you and never let you go.    i want to just sit beside you and comfort you with my presence.  it hurts me to know that you have to fight this     inside,   by yourself. know this, at least:    i will be here for you,           always. --1.9.17